Archdiocese of Denver

Is using a ouija board wrong? I have one, and sometimes I pull it out with my friends. It scares us a little, but it is actually pretty fun.

Thanks for asking.
I'm proud of you for taking the time to listen to your conscience and look for the truth.

If anything looks, smells, or hints at opening you up to a world of spirits you can't see and whose origin you don't know - don't mess with it.

There are only two places that "spirits" come from - heaven or hell. There are only two places that unseen powers come from - heaven or hell. If indeed a "spirit" is speaking to you through the ouija board, that spirit isn't just a nice invisible guy walking down your street who stopped by when he saw you playing ouija to have a chat. That spirit is a demon - plain and simple.

Isn't it usually just a joke though? Probably most of the time it is. But I am sure that sometimes - if people are opening themselves up to a spirit speaking to them through their little game - it happens.
Either way you are literally playing with the fires of hell.

I moved here from LA a year ago. In LA we didn't leave our doors open. Why? Because way too many gangsters wandered around where I lived. I didn't want one in my house. I kept my door bolted every night.

Right now your door is open to a world far more dangerous than the LA gangster world. Please shut that door. That is a door you shouldn't even crack open slightly - be it for fun, curiosity, or whatever the reason.

You wrote in your email that you are a little scared…please listen to that fear. It is from God.

Even if you are not totally sure after reading this if the ouija is right or wrong (which means that it just might be wrong)…why do it?
There are better ways to have fun and be sure you aren't offending God.

I'll pray that you make the right choice.

Jesus is THE Answer!
Chris Stefanick

REPLY:
Thanks for the answer. I do agree.... but I have one more question. In your e-mail you wrote "You wrote in your email that you are a little scared…please listen to that fear. It is from God." So does that mean it is wrong to go to haunted houses and stuff?

Our "fear switch" is a gift from God. When something puts that switch in the "on" position - we experience a fear that pushes us away from those things that can hurt us.

Our ability to fear can be a source of fun IF we are doing something that puts our fear switch in the "on" position that we know cannot actually hurt us - Examples: Haunted houses, scary movies, roller coasters. There is nothing wrong with some clean scary fun (within healthy limits)! Ouija wouldn't fit in that "clean scary fun" category because it actually can harm us.

Chris

(Originally posted on the Diocese of La Crosse youth ministry page.)

What does Homophobic mean?

….sorry in advance for long answer to a short question…

Homophobe (noun) = one who fears homosexuality
Homophobic (adjective) = being afraid of homosexuality

This is a word often used by people who want to accuse Christians of being close-minded and fearful of all things that aren't Christian.

The problem with that…
Just because someone thinks a particular behavior is morally wrong doesn't mean that person has a psychotic fear of it. I think adultery is wrong - would I be diagnosed as an "adulterophobe". I think murder is wrong - would that make me a "murderophobe"? Would I need counseling to be cured of my irrational "fears" just because I think these things are wrong? Of course not!
Trying to accuse me of hate, fear, or psychosis because of a particular moral view is totally unfair.

Homosexual activity is not what God intended. We don't need the bible to tell us that. We can find monogamous, lifelong, life-producing marriages between men and women in every culture around the world, both primitive and modern. God's plan for man and woman to give themselves totally and exclusively to each other (and ultimately to Him) is written on our very bodies. It's how we are designed.
Does thinking that make me fearful of homosexuality or hateful of homosexuals? No! Hatred is gravely sinful.

I grew up with some guys who now live with their girlfriends. They are living outside of the plan of God. I still love them. I still call them friends. I have told them that what they are doing is wrong. I don't hate them. I certainly don't fear them. I have a friend who has chosen a homosexual lifestyle. My attitude toward her is the same.

(Note - I said "friend who has chosen a homosexual lifestyle", not "homosexual". I wouldn't call those with homosexual tendencies "homosexual". I have a tendency to pride. I'd hate for people to refer to me by a tendency I have toward a particular disordered behavior. I'm more than that. I am a child of God.
People with homosexual tendencies are more than that. They are children of God.)

Having a tendency toward a sin isn't sinful. Only acting on it is. In fact - struggling to do the right thing even against great temptation can make someone a great saint! Many Diocese have a program called Courage to help Catholics who struggle with a tendency to homosexuality to follow God's plan for their lives. The contact person for Courage in the Archdiocese of Denver is Fr. Dan Noric. If anyone is seriously struggling with homosexuality I'd encourage him/her to have the courage to contact Fr. Dan (Cell: 720-434-2638; email: noricdj@hotmail.com)! (You won't be judged, hated, or feared!)

You can learn more about Courage at http://www.couragerc.net.

Jesus is THE Answer!

Chris Stefanick

(Originally posted on the Diocese of La Crosse youth ministry page.)

Can what we watch on TV offend God?

You are what you eat, not just with your body but with your mind. We ingest the stuff we watch and listen to and it becomes part of us. People ingest a lot of spiritual garbage through music and TV. We can't think we are so strong that it doesn't start to affect the way we see the world and think.

The people we hang out with rub off on us. We hang out with the people on our TV's in a very real way. We let them into our living rooms. Do you think it would offend God if the cast of "Friends" was in your living room talking about their experiences of sex outside of marriage and you were laughing? You are essentially doing just that...and just because it's funny...or through your TV doesn't change that fact.

I used to watch "Friends" too (just to pick on one example) - but after 1 too many crude jokes - I realized that these people are NOT my friends. I wouldn't hang out with them in a million years, not if I'm trying to live out my faith - and if I did I'd witness to them, not just sit there and laugh.

It may be tough to give up your favorite show, but God may be asking you not to let these people into your living room anymore. Listen to Him.

Jesus is THE Answer!

Chris Stefanick

How far is too far?

Asking that question is like me driving down the freeway with my beautiful wife and children and saying "lets see how close we can get to the oncoming traffic honey." If you love someone you will keep that person as far away as possible from what might hurt him/her.

How can pre-marital sex hurt someone?
The risk of disease even with "protection" is very high (condoms are only 85% effective against AIDS and are not proven effective against Herpes, HPV [which ends up killing more than AIDS because it can result in cervical cancer], Chlamydia and a host of other diseases…I have a parachuting business and 50% of the chutes work…wanna jump?). Pre-marital sex damages the relationship a person is going to have with their future spouse. It separates a person from his/her parents. It separates a person from God through grave sin. It risks bringing the stress of pregnancy into a young person's life. Pre-marital sex is a lie. It says with your body "I'm all yours" without saying it with your life first in marriage. Some people call pre-marital sex "making love." There is nothing loving about it.
"I love you so much let me put your body, relationships, and soul on the line."…(Does that sound loving?)

Love puts another person's good first, even when it requires sacrifice.
"I love you so much let me prove to you that you are worthy of my love without having to do anything for me. I love you so much let me preserve the mystery of your modesty. I love you so much let me guard your relationship with your future spouse. Let me guard your relationship with your parents. Let me guard your relationship with God - even at the expense of what I want right now." Now that is love!

The minute your kissing turns into "passionate" kissing…and your body is telling you what it wants to come next…you're starting to drive someone you care about into oncoming traffic! Prove your love and get back in your lane!

Jesus is THE Answer!

Chris Stefanick

(Originally posted on the Diocese of La Crosse youth ministry page.)

What do I do if a friend is sexually active?

Talk to them. You can use some of the points I make in my Q&A "how far is too far?". Also - check out Jason Evert's booklet "Pure Love" at http://www.catholic.com/chastity/pure_love.asp and his website pureloveclub.com. Those are great to give out to friends…very convincing.

More importantly - your friend is doing something that is risky physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Her parents should know about it. Or tell your parents and have them call hers. You may lose your friend in the process, but if you are willing to risk your very friendship out of love for her - you will be the truest friend you can be - and hopefully she will be able to see that some day.

Jesus asks us to do a lot in the name of love and truth. (Forget Xtreme snowboarding - this is Xtreme loving!) But He also gives us the grace to do it. Pray and then do what is right.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." ~ John 15:13

Jesus is THE Answer!

Chris Stefanick