“And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by
asking, ‘Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?’ He answered, ‘Have
you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and
female, and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and
be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one”? So they are no longer two
but one. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.’ They
said to him, ‘Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce,
and to put her away?’ He said to them, ‘For your hardness of heart Moses
allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I
say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries
another, commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman, commits
adultery.’"[1]
These words sound like a great judgment upon a civilization such as ours, where there is one divorce for every two marriages and many consequent re-marriages after such divorces. Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen, in his radio series “Life Is Worth Living,” eloquently shows how this teaching is not just for Catholics and other Christians. Divorces, he says, go against everything man and woman were created to be.
“They are, indeed, especially wrong for Catholics,” he said. “But they are a violation of the law of God, the Natural Law of God, for everyone, whether he be Tibetan or Moslem, or a so-called Christian. Original Sin and the Deluge did not block out the divinely established order of man and woman. Conjugal love conquered both the deluge and Original Sin and survived both.”
In our article on the
theology of the sacrament of marriage, we saw how humanity is part of both a natural order
and a supernatural order. Because marriage is a union made by God, it is unbreakable.
The Church teaches that the man and woman, who commit the rest of their lives
to each other, truly become one. This is the way God intended marriage, and
it is important to remember that marriage was instituted by God, not by man.
When reflecting on divorce, you must ask yourself whose rules you are playing
by when you agree to marry. “Certainly
there are judges who will grant divorces, but how does God look upon them?” Archbishop Sheen says. “After the divorce, they are
not two separate individuals as they are before the marriage. They are fragments of a joint personality, like a babe who has been cut in two. That
is the way God looks upon any divorce, regardless of who the person be.”
One of the great tragedies in our modern culture is
that the family is under attack from all sides. Countless movies, television
shows and song lyrics depict single-parent families or do not include the
parents at all. Commitment is replaced by a distorted notion of love where it
is seen as OK to leave a relationship if it’s “not working out.” After all,
they say, you only live once and you deserve to be happy. But the true fallout
is rarely shown. Despite the reason for any divorce, the impact is almost
always traumatic on all parties involved, especially children. In his
concluding catechetical talk on the theology of the body on April 8, 1981, Pope
John Paul II did not hesitate to use the phrase “plague of divorce” to
emphasize the gravity of such an attack on the dignity of marriage.
The
Catechism of the Catholic Church Defines Divorce
Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other until death. Sacramental marriage is the sign of the covenant of salvation, to which divorce does incredible injury. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery. If a husband, separated from his wife, becomes involved with another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery; and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn another's husband to herself.[2]
Furthermore, the Catechism states that divorce is
immoral because “it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This
disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by
the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its
contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.”[3]
But do we really believe
that? Do we believe instead that the Church is “out of touch” with
relationships and needs to “get with it?” The mentality of civil society
challenges the divinely revealed truth that a valid marriage is an indissoluble
union between a man and a woman. The Church responds by saying: “The Lord Jesus
insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be
indissoluble. He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old
Law. Between the baptized, ‘a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be
dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.’”[4]
The Church is also fully
aware that there are innocent parties who may be “the victim” of divorce by
their spouse. Such spouses are unjustly abandoned and suffer the consequences
of a civil divorce and the spiritual and psychological consequences
accompanying a failed marriage. Many are concerned in their consciences whether
their divorces which have been forced unjustly upon them constitute a gravely
sinful act. The Church responds:
“…This spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.”[5]
All decisions have
consequences, and divorce is no exception. Divorce is not wrong for Catholics
only, but Catholics who are divorced have deeper spiritual consequences
surpassing the civil responsibilities following civil divorce. It is critical
for all who have undergone a civil divorce to understand that the Church still
recognizes the validity of a marriage, even if it is a dissolved union at the
civil level; for marriage is first and foremost a physical and spiritual union
of a man and a woman. The words of Jesus Christ, echoed in the teachings of the
Catechism of the Catholic Church, remain unambiguous:
“Today there are numerous
Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new
civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ—‘Whoever divorces his
wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her
husband and marries another, she commits adultery’[6]--the
Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first
marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a
situation that objectively contravenes God's law. Consequently, they cannot
receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same
reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation
through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented
for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who
are committed to living in complete continence.[7]
“The remarriage of persons
divorced from a living, lawful spouse contravenes the plan and law of God as
taught by Christ. They are not separated from the Church, but they cannot
receive Eucharistic communion. They will lead Christian lives especially by
educating their children in the faith .”[8]
The Church teaches that the separation of spouses while
maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases. The Catechism
states: “If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain
legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, it
can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.”[9]
In The Catechism of the
Catholic Church (n.1651), the Church stresses that the community of the
faithful should exercise a sensitivity to the divorced through works of
charity.
Toward Christians who live
in this situation, and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their
children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest
an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from
the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons:
They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God's grace.[10]
-------------------
Recommended Readings
Pope Pius XI, Encyclical Letter Casti Cannubi: “On Chastity in Marriage,” December 31, 1930.
Gaudium et Spes: “Constitution on the Church in the Modern World,” Vatican Council II,
December 7, 1865.
John Paul II, “The Theology of the Body: Human Love in the Divine Plan,” Pauline Books & Media, 1997.
John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio: “The Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World,”
November 22, 1981.
John Paul II, Ecclesial Pronouncement by Pope John Paul II “Letter to Families from Pope John Paul II”,
February 2, 1994.
Recommended Listening
“Life is Worth Living,”
Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. Available in the audio library at www.ewtn.com.