Where will the wedding take place?

To highlight the sacredness of the celebration, and to underscore the relationship between your marriage and the Christian community, the Catholic Church stipulates that Catholic weddings take place in Catholic churches. Permission will not be given for outdoor weddings or unusual locations. Normally, the wedding will be celebrated in the parish where either of the Catholic parties resides. Your pastor may give permission for it to be celebrated in another Catholic church or chapel (for example, a Newman Center). If you are marrying a non-Catholic Christian or a non-baptized person, you may request permission to have the wedding take place elsewhere (e.g., in another Christian church or a synagogue or in another suitable place).

Preparing the liturgy

The wedding liturgy, like all other sacramental celebrations, is by its very nature communal--a celebration of the whole Church. Yet it is unique in being the only sacrament where it is the couple themselves who are the ministers of the sacrament; the priest or deacon is a witness.

Catholic weddings follow the general norms for liturgical celebrations, but there are a number of options available for you to choose that will enable you to enrich the celebration with expressions of your own faith. The priest or deacon will assist you in understanding the nature of the liturgy, and the various options and choices available regarding music, readings, and the ritual. Reflecting prayerfully on these together can be an important part of your spiritual preparation for the sacrament.

The wedding liturgy should be planned to encourage the participation of the assembly through song and prayer. It should express both your faith and commitment and that of the gathered community. It provides an opportunity for the community to pray for you, and to promise you their support in your married life.

Your parish may provide you with a workbook for planning the liturgy, but here is a summary of some of the options you may consider:

Ministries of the liturgy
There are a variety of ministries in each liturgical celebration. Some roles can only be filled by a Roman Catholic (for example, an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion); other ministries, like that of reader, can be done by qualified persons of other faith traditions. Take care in selecting and preparing people to fill these roles, making sure they have the skills and gifts necessary.

The rite
The Church provides three different rites for marriage:

a. a sacramental rite during the Eucharist, which is the usual (but not mandatory) form when both parties are Catholic;
b. a sacramental rite outside Eucharist, which is the usual (but not mandatory) form when one party is baptized, but not Catholic;
c. a non-sacramental rite between a Catholic and an unbaptized person.

The Entrance Procession may include the liturgical ministers and presider, as all as bride and groom, family members, and attendants. There are many ways to plan it--a liturgical procession (as at a Sunday mass) followed by procession of the wedding party; attendants entering as couples rather than the bridesmaids alone; bride and groom accompanied by all parents or relatives in the procession; or the bride escorted by her father.

The Liturgy of the Word follows the format as at any mass. The readings may be selected from the many options given in the lectionary, or may be other appropriate Scriptures. Non-scriptural readings are not used. The psalm is preferably sung, as is the gospel acclamation. The general intercessions should address the needs of the world and the universal Church as well as the needs of the couple.

For the Rite of Marriage, the couple should be clearly visible to the entire assembly as they exchange vows, because they are the focus of the rite. There are various options provided for the wording of the vows.

Music
Parishes may have their own policies about music. Be sure to ask. In general, when deciding what music to use, consider the following questions:

a. Is this a well-written piece of music?
b. Are the text and music in keeping with the nature of the liturgy?
c. Can the music be used to help the assembly to pray?

The music used before or during the liturgy should be clearly identifiable as prayer by all present. Secular love songs and ballads that have personal meaning to the couple are best played or sung at the reception.

Cultural adaptations
The Church allows cultural adaptations within the ceremony as long as they are in keeping with the nature and spirit of the liturgy. Such adaptations should not be overpowering, though. Be careful not to duplicate symbols that might have similar meanings; for example, the lasso and the unity candle are both cultural adaptations which emphasize the union of two persons into a new life in Christ.

The wedding rehearsal

This may be conducted by the priest or deacon witnessing the marriage, or by a parish wedding rehearsal coordinator. This is part of the preparation process, and offers an excellent opportunity for the wedding party to join together in prayer. The Catechism notes (para. 1622), "It is ... appropriate for the bride and groom to prepare themselves for the celebration of their marriage by receiving the sacrament of penance"; many priests will offer this at the rehearsal for the couple and for members of the wedding party who may desire it.

After the wedding …

In the months of marriage preparation, you're not simply preparing for an hour long wedding, but for a lifetime together--a lifetime of joy and happiness, we hope, but also of surprises and challenges. The best marriage preparation can never anticipate all that will happen in your life together, but it can help you to uncover some areas you'll want to give thought to, and it can also point you to resources available for marriage enrichment and healing. 

Questions?

Throughout this guide, we've referred to other resources available on the web pages of the Tribunal  and the Office of Marriage and Family Life. If you still have  questions, please fell free to contact us.

For some, it may be helpful to refer to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops - Frequently Asked Questions about Marriage

Some of this information has been reprinted with permission of the author.