Archdiocese of Denver - Preparing for Marriage

Most couples reserve a reception location as much as a year in advance. Before you do that, or contract with a photographer, or think about invitations, or make any other agreements, you need to talk to your parish. Diocesan guidelines say you should do so at least 8-12 months before the time you'd like to get married; some parishes may require even more advance notice, because of the number of weddings they celebrate. Be sure to allow extra time if either of you require an annulment.

Once you speak with your parish, you'll begin a formal process of marriage preparation. The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains:

Preparation for marriage involves a process of discernment, which is meant to be an affirming experience as you become more aware of your readiness to enter Christian married life. This process is meant to help you assess your personal faith and your relational readiness, not to make those judgments for or about you.

The pastor of the parish in which you live or in which you are registered has the responsibility for your marriage preparation (if both are Catholics, most couples will go to the bride's parish, but it is your choice). If you want another priest or deacon to witness the marriage (for instance, a campus minister or relative), your pastor can give him permission to also coordinate your marriage preparation.

Initial interview

The process begins when you sit down for an initial conversation with the priest or deacon who will be responsible for your marriage preparation, or some other person appointed for this by the pastor of your parish. This shouldn't be done over the phone or with the parish secretary. This is an opportunity for you to get to know one another, to explain the marriage preparation process, to determine that you are free to marry (according to Church law and civil law), and to identify any special needs or requests you may have regarding the wedding (place, long-distance preparation, etc.). You'll be told about the different documents you'll need to provide (recent copies of your baptismal certificates, prenuptial investigation form, any necessary permissions or dispensations, and, if necessary, affidavit of free status, annulment papers, or death certificate of previous spouse).

One of the most important aspects of the discernment process is the assessment of your faith readiness. Because the marriage of two baptized Christians is a sacrament, it requires the presence of faith in those who receive it. No two people are at the same place in their journey of faith, however. Through the marriage preparation process, you should be able to better identify and deepen your faith, both as individuals and as a couple.

Marriage readiness

Another aspect of the discernment process looks at your readiness to marry. While there is no possible way to determine this definitively, there are clear indicators that can predict potential problems or even the eventual failure of the marriage. You may be asked to complete a premarital inventory such as FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding & Study), which will give both of you an opportunity to reflect on your attitudes and your relationship. This isn't a test, but is an aid for you and the priest or deacon to use in highlighting important areas for discussion.

Formational programs

This part of the marriage preparation process is intended to help you understand better both the human and Christian aspects of marriage, and to introduce you to persons and resources that are available to help strengthen your marriage. The priest or deacon will work with you in selecting a formational program that best suits your needs according to the norms for marriage in the Archdiocese of Denver. In addition, couples of child-bearing age will be asked to attend classes on Natural Family Planning.

The marriage preparation process according to the norms of the Archdiocese of Denver is described at the Office of Marriage and Family Life