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Young adults find spiritual households a worthwhile challenge that builds virtue
By Nissa LaPoint
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Photo by James Baca/DCRBetween running to classes at the Augustine Institute, working on campus, and managing the busy schedule of a single 23-year-old, Sarah Daszczuk will make time to bow her head in prayer every week with her roommates.
Daszczuk knows firsthand the advantages of living in a household with five other women whose mission is to cultivate their spiritual life and build community.
She co-founded Martha and Mary House in Centennial this year for that purpose with the added goal of making households a permanent staple at the institute.
She is one of several young adults in the Denver metro area who live in a household that was started with the expectation that residents—many of whom are college students—will participate in group prayer, gather for meals, dedicate time to community service and organize activities for their peers.
Among these houses are Romeo House, a co-ed household in Denver for Regis University students, and Downing House in Englewood for all Christians dedicated to serving Denver ministries and spreading the Gospel.
Romeo House, established in 1992 to connect student’s education with their faith and the life experience of the poor, is the support mechanism for a strong spiritual life, said Pete Rogers, director of university ministry at Regis.
“We invite students to just slow down and be intentional about spirituality and about their prayer life,” Rogers said. “When you live in a home with a stated value it is more likely that this will happen.”
Students are expected to devote one day entirely to God, which means no school work or activities but rather studying Scripture, cooking and sharing a meal, and hosting a weekly discussion about spirituality or justice, he said. Peer ministers will help organize these programs for students who are also expected to devote at least eight hours of community service every week, he said.
The Romeo House requires students to sign a covenant, which outlines the community’s expectations of individual members, while the Martha and Mary House is run on a charter.
At Martha and Mary House, Daszczuk said her and her fellow roommates are expected to join together for Sunday Mass, pray the Liturgy of the Hours twice a week, cook and share a meal and participate in organizing activities for fellow students.
Occasional frustrations like finding toothpaste caps unscrewed on the counter or dealing with the challenge of cooking for a houseful of guests are opportunities to build the spiritual life. It builds virtue, Daszczuk said, even if it hurts.
“It’s very difficult and sometimes can be very inconvenient,” Daszczuk said. “There’s nothing quite like living in a community to show you that you’re not perfect and that you have a lot of growing to do. Learning to deal with those things and live in charity is the best thing to do—other than prayer—to prepare for our vocation.”
The household of Augustine Institute students is an effort to provide radical hospitality to others while offering a spiritual environment for the residents to grow in prayer.
“We are dedicated to the charisms of Martha and Mary,” she said about the two biblical women who opened their home to Jesus. “For us that’s daily dedicated prayer life (and) dedication to developing a personal relationship with Christ. We always try to be the people in our school whose doors are always open. It’s more than just being friendly, but stretching ourselves until it hurts.”
Other households have fallen victim to the chaos of different schedules and have since cut back on the number of times they join for prayer.
Four women in Lakewood began a household that met for Scripture readings and prayer three times a week, but conflicting schedules made this impossible to keep up, said Kayla Kowitz, 25, who works in Littleton.
Although Matthew Cyriac, 31, said his Lakewood household with three other men involved in FOCUS has likewise ceased to meet for weekly prayer, the experience continues to help him grow personally. Roommates who have cleaned the dishes—sometimes left in the sink to Cyriac’s irritation—with a spirit of joy have been inspirational, he said.
“They’ve really been a great example to me,” said Cyriac, who is the senior director of operations for FOCUS, an acronym for Fellowship of Catholic University Students campus ministry.
“As Catholic young adults who are single—I think you need people around you to keep you accountable,” Cyriac said. “It continues to help us develop virtues that otherwise can get overlooked.”
The virtues that have developed in the Martha and Mary House have amazed Daszczuk.
“I’ve constantly walked away from our household meetings and been completely blown away by the virtue of these women,” she said. “I would definitely recommend a household to anybody. I think it needs to make a comeback.”
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