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Comforting Children’s Day Mass remembers beloved deceased
By Nissa LaPoint
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Photo by Nissa LaPoint/DCR |
Couples and families gathered outside in the rain near a mortuary chapel Oct. 8 and released dozens of balloons in tearful remembrance of their children who had died.
Covered with messages of love and blessings, the balloons were released into the sky at Mount Olivet Cemetery after the annual Children’s Day Mass in the Archdiocese of Denver Mortuary Chapel. The Mass was celebrated to remember the born and unborn children of all ages whom families and friends lost in the previous year.
“It made me at peace,” said Danielle Santis Stevan, who came with her family to remember her daughter, Elana Faith, who died at 8 weeks gestation and was buried at the cemetery in August. “I came to remember her and have that peace.”
It was the 17th annual Children’s Day Mass held at the mortuary meant to give families a way to grieve and find hope after losing a child, said Laura Zabel, funeral director at Mount Olivet.
“They find it comforting and healing that they can remember their baby. It’s a really great service for them,” said Karen Rhoades, solace coordinator at Exempla Lutheran Medical Center in Wheat Ridge. She is one of several area hospital coordinators who helps Zabel with arranging burials at Mount Olivet for families of all faiths who lose a child.
The Mass began at 11 a.m. and was celebrated by Father Alvaro Montero, D.C.J.M., pastor at St. Mary Church in Littleton. In his homily, Father Montero, a Disciples of the Hearts of Jesus and Mary priest, told the crowd that it’s unnatural to have to bury your children, but that they must not let grief and death destroy them.
“We can experience that peace and joy if we allow the Lord to enter into our heart,” he said.
From the Scripture readings for that day, Father Montero told the families that they can learn something from Mary, the mother of Jesus. Mary was not only filled with compassion when watching her son die on the cross, but also gratitude because he gave his life for the salvation of mankind, he said.
“Like many times, our faith is counterintuitive,” Father Montero said. “(But) believe that God will still do great things in your heart through (your children).”
Furthermore, those who lost children should follow Mary’s example of spiritual parenting, he said, just as when Jesus asked Mary to be a mother to the apostle John.
“Jesus is asking you, in memory of those you lost, to develop a spiritual motherhood and fatherhood with somebody else,” he said. “I promise you, if you do this you will have an incredible joy on behalf of and in the name of those we lost.”
After the homily, Father Montero read the Book of Remembrance, in which the families wrote the names of their deceased children. Each family then received a blessed guardian angel pin.
“It’s an honor to know that we’re here for the same reason,” said Kerry Urbalejo, who came to remember her son Max who died when he was 2 days old. “We feel it as a family when we see other families with the same grief.”
Urbalejo has been coming with her family since 1998 to remember Max, and her extended family came to the annual Mass in 2007 to remember Carissa Lynn Thompson, a member of the family who died at 17 years old, she said.
After the Mass, everyone walked outside to release their helium-filled balloons after saying an “Our Father.” Releasing the balloons was symbolic for lifting their hearts to heaven and having new hope, Father Montero told the crowd.
Some families and couples wrote messages to their deceased children on the balloons. One read: “I have a special place just for you. May God bless you and keep you in his loving arms. Love, Grammie.”
After releasing white and pink balloons in remembrance of their daughter, Sarah, who died at 14 weeks, Robyn and Paul McSheehy said they were glad they came a second year.
“I think too often that children are forgotten,” Robyn McSheehy said. “This is a wonderful way to honor them.”
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