In today’s high-tech, achievement-oriented, consumer culture, fast-paced lifestyles are the norm for families.

Typically, both parents are employed. One or both may work long hours or face a significant commute. Between working, caring for their kids and chauffeuring them to a variety of activities, keeping the household running smoothly and perhaps also engaging in their own extracurricular pursuits, their days are heavily scheduled.

Not surprisingly, family meals are infrequent. In fact, it may be rare for everyone to be under the same roof for any length of time. When they are, oftentimes interaction is minimal, given that everyone has their own space and electronic devices, such as computers, cell phones, iPods, TVs and game systems, keep them in separate worlds.

While individually, family members may be having it all and doing it all, achievement and acquisition come at a high price: little or no quality time together.

Family time is important in many ways. It provides members with love, validation and security; it offers opportunities to share experiences, ideas, thoughts and feelings, discuss personal concerns and issues of the day, problem solve, learn new things and have fun; and it enables parents to impart values, explicitly and implicitly.

This time together enhances relationships and solidifies the family’s identity. There are no shortcuts.

So how do parents go about ensuring family time? For starters, we must not view ourselves as victims of the popular culture. It’s up to us to choose our family’s priorities and figure out ways to implement them, getting creative if necessary.

Large-scale solutions include telecommuting, finding a job in a more family-friendly workplace, going from full-time to part-time employment or temporarily leaving the work force. Another option is to delay a time-consuming personal goal, such as returning to school or starting a business. We might also rethink upsizing to a bigger home, where family members’ paths might rarely have to cross.

Making family time
The following are smaller-scale strategies for carving out family time:
• Limit the number of activities per person. If you or your kids are involved in more than two, cut back. Periodically evaluate your family’s schedule and its impact on everyone;
• Turn chauffeuring time into meaningful time, by talking with your kids instead of turning on the car radio or allowing personal music players;
• Set limits around the electronics your family owns and where and when they are used. Allow TVs and computers only in common areas;
• Develop family routines and traditions. For example: “on Saturday morning we go to the farmers’ market,” “on birthdays we eat out at our favorite restaurant.”

Family activities
Here are some ideas for family activities:
• Develop a mission statement, articulating your family’s values and goals. Post it as a reminder;
• Plan ahead to ensure sit-down meals. If necessary, designate certain days of the week when all members are expected at dinner. Brainstorm menus and have everyone pitch in with meal preparation and cleanup. Turn off the TV and turn on the telephone answering machine during these and other family times;
• Pray before and after meals, and say the rosary weekly. Keep a prayer jar of special intentions and encourage contributions;
• Read aloud, taking turns, or work on a large jigsaw puzzle;
• Devise family projects—start a garden, redecorate a room, spearhead a family reunion or engage in some type of community service, for example;
• Share family history: make a family tree and tell stories as you go along;
• Assemble photo albums or scrapbooks and peruse them on rainy days and special occasions. Have a family portrait taken at regular intervals;
• Make Sunday a family day. Attend Mass together, followed by brunch and an outing. Go to the park, take a hike, attend a sporting event or community festival or visit a tourist attraction such as a museum or zoo. If a whole day isn’t feasible, designate a weekly family game night or movie night. Diligently protect this time;
• Organize vacations that foster interaction—possibilities range from camping at a nearby family campground to taking a cross-country road trip. Plan mini-vacations, too, such as an overnight stay at a family-friendly hotel or a day at the beach. Establish rules—for example, no bringing friends along—and restrict the use of electronics.

Lisa M. Petsche is a clinical social worker and a freelance writer specializing in family life, seniors and spirituality.