HOMEPAGE for this issue: December 8, 2010 Download PDF Version

Keep faith and love for lasting marriage, says long-married couple

By Julie Filby

When asked about the secrets of a long marriage, Rosemary Baker said without hesitation, “I don’t know, it’s just seemed easy.”

Rosemary, 93, has been married to Russell Baker, 92, for nearly 68 years. They are longtime parishioners of Notre Dame Church in Denver.

“We’ve had our ups and downs, like other people do,” Rosemary said. “It’s been our faith in God and devotion to the Blessed Mother that’s seen us through.”
Russell, who converted to Catholicism five years after they were married, echoed his wife’s sentiments when asked about the longevity of their relationship.

“That’s a tough question,” he said. “I think it’s just to maintain your faith and your love.”

A study that compared religion and relationship quality found that shared religious activities—such as attending church and praying together—help keep marriages intact (“The Couple That Prays Together: Race and Ethnicity, Religion, and Relationship Quality Among Working-Age Adults,” August 2010). The study noted that “…couples’ in-home family devotional activities and shared religious beliefs are positively linked with relationship quality.”

The Bakers, who pray the rosary together every night, said while faith has always been central in their marriage, it was particularly important during the extended illness and eventual passing of their daughter, Norma Jean. She was only 20 years old when she died in 1964.

“We had several years of illness with our daughter,” Rosemary said. “Without faith, I don’t know what we would’ve done—with the loss of our daughter and everything else that’s come up that’s been important.”

The two originally met at a United Service Organizations (USO) dance in San Diego during World War II. Rosemary had left her teaching job in South Dakota to work at Ryan Aircraft, and Russell was stationed there during his Navy service from 1937-1946.

After meeting over the Thanksgiving holiday in 1942, they married in a small church in San Diego January 21, 1943.

“It was a quick courtship,” Rosemary said. “Love at first sight, you might say.”

Neither could recall the name of the small Catholic church where they were married by “Father Linnaman.”

“We should remember what that church was…” said Rosemary, her voice fading as Russell finished her sentence.

“We can’t think of the name, but we went back and renewed our vows at the same church on our 47th anniversary,” he recalled fondly. “That little church was still there.”

Once settled in Denver, the Bakers joined Notre Dame Parish even before the church was built in 1958. Russell served as an usher for more than 50 years, starting back when Mass was celebrated at Dorothea Kunsmiller Junior High School. He gave up ushering duties only two months ago.

Through the years the couple has enjoyed gardening and traveling together. Following Russell’s retirement in 1982 from watch-making and a career with Coors, they traveled extensively including 11 cruises, and trips to Europe and the South Pacific.

“We didn’t get to go to the Holy Land,” said Rosemary, with regret. “That’s the one place we missed that we were sad about; it never seemed to be the right time.”

Rosemary retired as administrator of the Adult Home for the Blind in north Denver in the mid-1980s where she had worked for 30 years.

Though life has slowed down for them in their 90s, they are grateful to be living in their own home and enjoying each other’s company.

“We’ve always done things together,” Russell said. “We’ve always been respectful of each other’s interests.”

Each year they attend the annual anniversary Mass celebrated by Archbishop Charles J. Chaput, O.F.M. Cap. at the Cathedral Basilica of the Immaculate Conception. The celebration recognizes couples commemorating 25, 50 and 50-plus years of marriage. Next year’s anniversary Mass is scheduled for Oct. 1, 2011.