August 11, 2010

Welcome to the jungle

By Christopher Stefanick

Poor wildebeest—the Big Mac of the savannah.  They travel in huge herds, each weighing up to 600 pounds of pure muscle, able to run 40 mph, and with huge horns.  Lucky for the lion they have all the self-defense skills of a Happy Meal.  But despite the lack of wildebeest aggression the lioness knows better than to run into a herd.  She could get trampled.  So the lioness works hard to cut a young or sick wildebeest from the rest.  Then she enjoys her feast. 

Incoming college freshman, you are walking away from “the herd” for the first time.  The friends that defined you, the parish youth group that supported you, and the parents that put boundaries on you are going to be removed for the first time.  Not to sound alarmist, but St. Peter tells us that your ancient enemy is “prowling like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Pt 5:8).  You’re about to become a prime target, and if you’re not careful, you just might lose yourself. 

I’m not advising that you spend your young adult years locked up in your room.  God calls us into the world.  But I am advising you to stay alert.  A lion’s greatest strength isn’t in muscle, but stealth.  He can’t run very far so he relies on remaining unseen.  I’m going to point out a few “lions” you might meet over the next four years.  When you see one, please run. 

Credit Cards: When you arrive on campus you’ll see booths everywhere with nice strangers offering you free T-shirts and candy if you just give them your information.  They’ll draw you in with wonderful words on banners like, “discover,” “instant approval!” (hey, who doesn’t want that?) and “rewards.”  The intent of freshmen is often to use a credit card responsibly and pay it off monthly.  But the only way for credit card companies to make real money off of you is if you fail to do so.  And they are so sure you will fail that they invest millions in college students.  The University of Tennessee, for instance, was paid $16 million by a credit card company for special access to students. You can count on the fact that they made far more than that back.  Accumulating debt before getting a job leads to your ruin and their gain, and I didn’t have to be a researcher at a credit card company to do that math! Nineteen percent of bankruptcies last year were college students.  So when strangers offer you candy, run. 

Promiscuity: 25 percent of college students will graduate having been infected with an STD. Safe sex is available to all of them but it doesn’t work.  Condoms are only 85 percent effective against AIDS and 50 percent against a host of other STDs.  And that’s not to mention the emotional, psychological and even financial strain premarital sex brings into a young person’s life—risks people don’t subject you to if they really love you.  Your parents previously provided curfews and boundaries.  Now you have to provide them for yourself.  Do not date someone who isn’t committed to purity.  Once you find someone who loves you enough to be with you despite the lack of immediate “return on his investment,” stay out of the wrong situations.  Many ask, “How far is too far?”  Once the door of your dorm room closes you’ve gone too far.  If you want to stay true to yourself, God and your future spouse, keep the door open.  And girls, stay out of dangerous situations—many of which seem like “fun” situations, as in partying with guys you don’t know well.  More than 100,000 college students reported being too intoxicated to even know if they consented to sex.  More than 13 percent of college women have been sexually assaulted since entering college, most of them after drinking too much or doing drugs.  A good time can turn on you fast leaving you with scarring memories for years to come. 

Drugs and Alcohol: 159,000 of today’s freshmen will drop out from drugs and alcohol.  More than 30 percent have smoked pot, which, despite claims to the contrary, can alter your personality and your path in life.  “Fun guy” can turn to “loser” really fast.  Find sober friends to party with and be willing to spend a few nights alone if they’re hard to find at first.  If your character isn’t strong enough to deal with a night or two alone in your dorm room you might want to reconsider leaving your parents just yet. 

Depression and Stress: Freshman year of college is the most vulnerable, lonely and morally unstable time in many people’s lives.  The stress of leaving home, taking on a new workload with the new potential of failure, financial stress and more temptations than you have ever experienced all converge, creating the perfect storm.  Eleven-hundred college students commit suicide every year and another 24,000 try it.  Nearly half of students reported feeling so down at one time or another that they couldn’t function.  Remember the old saying: “Your head is like a bad neighborhood.  Don’t go in there alone.”  Recognize the danger of freshman blues and talk to someone if you need to.  Don’t ever let shame isolate you.  And remember to call mom and dad regularly.  It can keep you grounded in reality. 

I’ll leave you with this advice.  Find a new, faith-filled herd.  FOCUS missionaries working on our campuses estimate that if they don’t find you within 24 hours of your arrival on campus they won’t see you for four years.  Everything can depend on the herd you fall into in those first 24 hours.  Call campus ministry before you arrive.  Tell them you’re coming and give them your contact info.  Mom and dad, feel free to protect your college investment by doing the same.  It might save your child from becoming someone else’s Happy Meal.

WEB EXTRAS: Audio Recording of Archbishop Chaput & Chris Stefanick

At the Sunday, August 8 College Send-Off Mass, Archbishop Chaput spoke in detail to the youth in attendance, offering words of encouragement and guidance before venturing out into the world. The final ten minutes of the Archbishop's homily (beginning at minute 17:45), featured a dialogue between him and Mr. Chris Stefanick. Click here to listen to this and other homily recordings by Archbishop Chaput.
 

Speaker and author Christopher Stefanick is director of Youth, Young Adult and Campus Ministry for the Denver Archdiocese. Visit www.chris-stefanick.com.