October 28, 2009

Project Rachel: Helping those hurt by abortion to heal

By Julie Filby

Many people suffer mental, emotional and spiritual trauma following abortion. The associated guilt and isolation can make one feel they’ve committed an unforgivable sin. While God in his infinite love and mercy is willing to forgive, the willingness to forgive oneself can be more difficult.

This was the case for “Jennifer” (her name has been changed to protect her privacy). That is, until she discovered Project Rachel. Project Rachel is a Catholic ministry of healing for women and men seeking support and reconciliation after an abortion.

In 1978, 23-year-old Jennifer was finishing her senior year of college. She had a terrific job waiting for her in another state after graduation. She was ready to start the new life and career she’d worked so hard for. A baby wasn’t in her plans.
“I had just finished finals when I found out I was pregnant,” she said. “It was devastating—I wasn’t ready for motherhood.

“I’d worked really hard in college to get my degree,” she said. “And I was very focused on that at the time.”

Jennifer, born and raised Catholic, didn’t confide in anyone about her pregnancy, other than her boyfriend. He offered no support either way. To this day, her friends and family do not know about the pregnancy.
“Abortion seemed to be an easy way out,” she said.

Following the abortion, Jennifer felt guilty and depressed but kept her emotions under wraps. About six month later, she went to confession.

“I knew I had to see a priest,” she explained. “I had to confess my sin and deal with the consequences. I believe in the forgiveness of the Lord and I wanted to get back in his good graces.”

Despite receiving forgiveness, she struggled with unresolved feelings of sadness, guilt and grief for the next 18 years.

“I had started back into my prayer life,” she said. “And during times of prayers, thoughts of the abortion kept coming to the surface.

“I didn’t know what was going on because I felt I’d been forgiven by the Lord,” she said. “What I needed was to forgive myself.”

In 1996, Jennifer read an article in the Denver Catholic Register about Project Rachel. She cut it out and carried it in her purse for “a good six months” before she found the courage to pick up the phone. Eventually she called and registered for a group session with Project Rachel.

“I knew it was time—18 years was a long time (to carry the guilt),” she said. “It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done…to open up and talk about the abortion.”

Project Rachel offered the confidentiality, group setting and faith environment she needed to continue her healing process.

“I just wish I had found it sooner,” she said. “I learned to forgive myself—and to recognize my loss.”

She also learned how to develop a loving, motherly prayer life with the child she lost.

“I have peace knowing that my child is now ‘living in the Lord,’” she said, referring to the words of Pope John Paul II in his 1995 encyclical Evangelium Vitae (Gospel of Life). “I truly feel forgiven.”

Jennifer has been a facilitator with the ministry since going through the program herself.

“It heals me all over again,” she said. “I encourage anyone who has been touched by abortion, both women and men, to open their hearts to Project Rachel.”

Project Rachel offers six-week group sessions two or three times a year. Each group consists of six to 10 individuals and two facilitators: Mimi Eckstein, director of the Respect Life Office, who holds a master’s degree in psychology, and an individual who previously participated in the program. The sessions culminate with a private Mass and an opportunity for confession.

Hundreds of women and men have gone through the program since its inception in the Denver Archdiocese in 1991. The next group session starts Nov. 4. To register, contact the Respect Life Office at 303-715-3205 or e-mail mimi.eckstein@archden.org. Strict confidentiality will be maintained.

Project Rachel

What: 6-week group session for post-abortion healing
When: 6:30-8 p.m. on Wednesdays, Nov. 4-Dec. 9
Where: John Paul II Center, 1300 S. Steele St., Denver
Registration: Required, no cost
Contact: 303-715-3205 or mimi.eckstein@archden.org (in confidence)