March 25, 2009

Faith of hundreds reignited at first Rocky Mountain Men’s Conference

By Bill Howard

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo.—The inaugural Rocky Mountain Men’s Conference was a big success, drawing nearly 800 men from across the state to hear speakers challenge them to be better Catholic men and husbands in the world.

Two dozen priests from around the state, including Colorado Springs Bishop Michael Sheridan, were also on hand to hear confessions. The conference was held March 21 at Holy Apostles Church in Colorado Springs and was sponsored by the Dioceses of Colorado Springs and Pueblo and the Archdiocese of Denver.

“This (conference) is about, I pray, getting new insights, learning more deeply what it means to be a Christian man . . . a Catholic man,” Bishop Sheridan said at the welcoming address. “Hopefully, we will gain some insights in God’s plan for us in this world, how we’re to find our happiness and fulfillment here.”

Talk topics included strengthening one’s relationship with Christ, forgiveness, fighting the scourge of pornography, and evangelization in the model of St. Paul.

Rick Lentz and Bob Tomlinson, both of Colorado Springs, spoke of their unique bond that was forged through a tragedy—Tomlinson’s daughter was driving a car that hit and killed Lentz’s son while the latter was helping a stranded motorist in 2004. At the daughter’s trial, Lentz stood up and forgave her, a gesture that stunned Tomlinson. When Tomlinson called Lentz to ask how he could forgive her, Lentz responded that it took lots of prayer.

“I came to realize that what was missing in my life was a relationship with Christ,” Tomlinson said.

Lentz became Tomlinson’s spiritual mentor, and their relationship has blossomed into a ministry that preaches to men about the power of forgiveness, of letting go of the desire to control everything and letting Christ do the work.

“If you take anything from our presentation, don’t wait for a tragedy to occur in your life before you start getting serious about Jesus Christ,” Tomlinson said. “(Don’t be afraid) to ask another man to help mentor you.”

Sean Dalton, regional west director of Fellowship of Catholic University Students, spoke on the urgency for men to evangelize, particularly fathers within their families. Dalton said that one in 10 Americans is a fallen-away Catholic.

“We have to do better about evangelizing,” he said. “How do we save our kids? If we don’t evangelize, the culture will.”

Dalton decried the depiction of male role models, particularly fathers, on television and in movies as “self-absorbed fools.” He said that children who aren’t evangelized at home are more susceptible to being converted by the secular humanism pushed on college campuses.

Dalton said that, just as a submarine or a fish can withstand heavy water pressure by providing counter-pressure, so must parents create a counter-pressure of faith so their children can withstand the heavy pressure of secular humanism in today’s culture.

“Statistically, fathers who invest in their son’s life in praying together and spreading the faith in love … that boy’s not going to leave the faith. He’s going to resist temptation and not engage in risky behavior,” Dalton said. “That’s the impact a father can have.”

While the issue of pornography use was frequently mentioned throughout the day, two speakers dealt specifically with the issue: Dave DiNuzzo of Colorado Springs, Catholic young adult ministry coordinator at the U.S. Air Force Academy and founder of True Manhood ministry (truemanhood.com), and Dan Spadaro, a Colorado Springs-based Catholic licensed professional counselor who specializes in helping men recover and heal from sexual addiction.

DiNuzzo told the gathering of his own battle to find freedom from pornography use, challenging men to “fight the giant” the way King David fought Goliath. Spadaro spoke from a more clinical perspective, educating the audience on the spiritual and physical effects of sexual addiction.

Spadaro said that the “get it out of your system” theory of dealing with pornography as a youth is false, as a recent Brigham Young University study showed that nearly half of 18-26 year olds participating in the study viewed pornography at least once a week. While the number of users was much lower for women, the percentage of women who found pornography acceptable as a healthy way to express sexuality was at about 50 percent.

Spadaro called on men to have humility, because it breeds honesty. He recommended that men recovering from pornography and sexual addiction find a solid spiritual mentor or confessor who can hold them accountable.

“As a father, you’re being watched. Children are watching and learning from things we do. How do we want to be seen?” Spadaro asked. “Are we careless about the TV we’re watching? Are we honest with others? Don’t be afraid to talk to your children about sex. … Tell them what you do to help with your temptations. How many of us heard that from your fathers? Relationships counteract addictions.

“Our God is rich in mercy,” he said. “There’s nothing we’ve done that can’t be forgiven by him.”

Luis Soto, director of Hispanic Ministry for the Archdiocese of Denver, challenged men to put Christ first in every aspect of their lives. In looking to Christ as the role model, men learn that God provides for their needs, that God trusts each of them to spread his message of love, and that men need a healthy relationship with Mary. Soto said fathers need to bring their children to the sacraments.

Peter Herbeck, host of EWTN’s “Crossing the Goal,” gave a fiery talk on the need for men to constantly be in a state of growth.

“To be Christian is to change, to be in a process of changing all the time,” he said. “If we’re stagnant, something’s wrong in our faith walk.”

Herbeck honed in on the life of St. Paul and his zeal for evangelization as a model for men.

“St. Paul simply testified to what his relationship with Jesus has done in his life,” Herbeck said. “He’s personally sharing with us his conviction in his heart and communicating how his life has been transformed. The deeper he went, the more the transformation happened.”