January 21, 2009

Marriage prep in the Denver Archdiocese a three-step process

In the Archdiocese of Denver, marriage preparation should begin eight to 12 months prior to a couple’s anticipated wedding date. Following the Pontifical Council for the Family’s “Preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage,” the archdiocese’s Marriage and Family Life Office divides this period into proximate (the first several months) and immediate (the last two months) preparation. During this time, couples prepare for their sacrament through three main steps of preparation as well as a manageable series of meetings with a priest, deacon or marriage preparation minister.

Phil Webb, director of the Marriage and Family Life Office, emphasizes that his office cannot supervise a couple’s preparation. Preparation begins in one’s parish and must be approved by the priest, deacon or preparing minister.

Proximate Preparation

Schedule an initial meeting with your priest, deacon or marriage preparation minister. Be sure to schedule this appointment before booking a reception site, etc. Time frame: Eight to 12 months in advance of your desired wedding date.

Some parishes will want you to take a marriage preparation inventory (FOCCUS Inventory). This tool is designed to assess the strengths of your relationship and areas that may need growth. Time frame: Within first few weeks of proximate preparation.

Step 1-Theology Component
There are four options available for completion of this step. Time frame: To be completed within the first few months of proximate preparation.

Option 1: Attend a one-day couple’s workshop called God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage. These classes are offered at various locations throughout the archdiocese.

Option 2: Attend the Evening Marriage Preparation Program offered by Catholic Marriage Preparation Inc. For more information, visit online at catholicmarriagepreponline. org or call toll free 1-866-425-7193. Completion of this program will fulfill both Step 1 and Step 3 of your marriage preparation.

Option 3: Attend the Marriage Builder Weekend offered by St. Frances Cabrini Church in Littleton. For more information, visit online at saintfrancescabrini. org/marriage.html or call 303-979-7688. Completion of this program will fulfill both Step 1 and Step 3 of your marriage preparation.

Option 4: Attend the “Covenant of Life Marriage Preparation Retreat” at Church of the Risen Christ. For more information and registration, visit online at risenchristchurch.org and click on the Covenant of Life Marriage Preparation Retreat link or call 303-758- 8826. This retreat fulfills both Step 1 and Step 3 of your marriage preparation process.

Step 2-Natural Family Planning
This step focuses on the training of natural family planning (NFP), which is a method of achieving or postponing pregnancy by observing the changes in a woman’s body that naturally indicate her fertility. It has nothing to do with the old “Rhythm Method,” and treats each individual like a person— body and soul.

Three organizations offer NFP training and certification in this archdiocese. See the natural family planning link on the Marriage and Family Life Office Web page (archden.org/marriage) for information on each organization and instruction for registration.

Time frame: These classes should be scheduled within the first few weeks of proximate preparation and completed before the wedding date.

Step 3- Life Skills Component
The life-skills component is intended to help you fine-tune some practical skills such as handling conflict, finances, decision making, etc. To begin this step, talk with your priest/deacon about possible options available to you at your parish and to discuss the other available options listed. Time frame: This step can be completed anytime throughout proximate or immediate preparation.

Option 1: Catholic Engaged Encounter weekend. Visit Marriage and Family Life Office Web page (archden.org/marriage) for retreat schedule and to register or call 303-433-1186.

Option 2: Private meeting with your priest/deacon, or married mentor couple to review pre-marital inventory (FOCCUS test) mentioned above.

Option 3: Catholic Marriage Preparation Inc., also explained under Step 1, will fulfill both Step 3 and Step 1 of your preparation process.

Option 4: Life Skills Workshop offered at Sacred Heart of Mary Church in Boulder. This program is facilitated by trained volunteers and provides an opportunity for couples to communicate intimately with one another in order to deepen and enrich their relationship. For more information and to register, visit online at sacredheartofmary. org/sacraments/marriage. asp or call 303-499-8989 Ext. 200.

Option 5: Marriage Builder Weekend at St. Frances Cabrini Catholic Church, also explained under Step 1, will fulfill both Step 3 and Step 1 of your preparation process.

Option 6: “Covenant of Life Marriage Preparation Retreat” at Church of the Risen Christ, also explained under Step 1, will fulfill both Step 3 and Step 1 of your marriage preparation process.

Immediate Preparation
This period of preparation entails a final meeting with your priest, deacon, or marriage preparation minister and a time to receive the sacrament of reconciliation. Time is also devoted to planning the wedding liturgy. Time frame: Last two months prior to the celebration of marriage.