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The NBC reality series “Survivor” has nothing on the apostles. Many of the “Survivor” players say they’ve built long-lasting friendships because of their hard times during the game. Put that in context with the apostles and their three years spent with Jesus and it makes the “Survivors” look a bit silly. Imagine spending three years — completely — with the same people. Eating, sleeping, getting sick, dealing with family, dealing with hatred and opposition, and trying to comprehend the theology their Master was leaving with them. A deep relationship must have been established.
At the end of those three years, only one of those 12 apostles was standing at the cross and Peter — “the Rock” — had even denied his Master three times. What happened to those deep relationships? In Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” after Peter’s denial of our Lord, he sees Mary and he cannot even bear to have her touch him. He feels like a complete failure.
Yet, what an amazing role model Peter really is. Imagine that you’ve just denied your best friend’s relationship while talking with someone else. You know your best friend is going to find out about it. How are you going to feel after that! Now relate that to Peter. Can you imagine Peter’s emotions when hearing Jesus had risen from the dead? Puts a different spin on why he ran to the tomb, doesn’t it? Do you think it was because he hoped Jesus was alive or because he wanted so desperately to be forgiven? A second chance! How often do we run to confession desperately seeking the forgiveness that only the Lord can give? Do we even recognize the need for our hearts to be reunited with our Savior?
In the book “The Gift of Faith,” the author, Father Tadausz Dajczer, says, “when you approach the sacrament of penance, which can be called the sacrament of conversion, with true contrition, your faith has a great opportunity for growth.” He also contends that two types of religiousness exist: egocentric and “theocentric.”
The egocentric religious view contends, “In order to be right in the face of God he goes to confession with the thought of cleansing himself, for his sin is a burden.” Father Dajczer makes the comparison that Judas was truly sorry and attempted his confession — and that he truly wanted to change. He gave back the 30 silver pieces and said, “I have sinned in betraying innocent blood” (Matt 27:4). But ultimately Judas lacked the most important attitude of all — faith in Jesus’ mercy. Therefore, Judas’ confession ended with despair and suicide. That is the egocentric side of confession.
Father Dajczer goes on to present Peter as a role model for our “theocentric” confession: “he believed in the mercy of Christ and concentrated not so much on his own sin but on forgiveness.” The author talks about sin as an advantage in discovering God’s mercy through faith and ultimately remembering that when we go to confession, if we concentrate on the fact that we’ve hurt Christ through our sins, we can focus on renewing our friendship with Christ. Father Dajczer quotes St. Jean Marie Vianney in saying, “but when you go to confess, you go to free our Lord from the cross.” That is a powerful thought.
Peter sees the Lord after he’s risen from the dead when they are out fishing. John recognizes Jesus and points him out to the rest of the disciples in the boat. So what does Peter do when he realizes John is right? Does he say, “Are you sure? How do you know?” No! Peter jumps into the water and swims to Jesus. Wouldn’t the boat have been faster? Probably, but Peter abandoned everything and everyone to get to the one he loved. Again, desperately seeking the Lord, Peter shows us that it’s OK to jump right into our faith. And that is exactly why the Lord chose Peter to head up his new Church. Peter wasn’t perfect, he made mistakes. But once he recognized them he jumped back into the middle of the action and loved our Lord. Peter’s actions, even at his death, said, “I love you, Lord!”
This Lent is a good time to remember that the New Testament talks about forgiveness. Our ability to say we’re sorry to God reflects our true need for contrition and, as Father Dajczer notes, “Contrition is a decisive element in conversion.”
He adds: “If your contrition has no bounds, then the mercy of the Lord will also have no bounds.” What does that tell us? It tells us that no matter what sin we’ve committed, the Lord is there, waiting for us, waiting to show us his mercy. How many times did Jesus wait for Peter? More than we’ll ever know. But ultimately what Peter shows us is that we can (and probably will) screw up until the very end. But if we keep trying, the Lord knows our hearts and he knows our true resolve when we make the effort to meet him in the sacrament of reconciliation.
