Archbishop's web site Denver Catholic Register Parishes Catholic Pastoral Center
September 11, 2002
Camp brightens holiday for HIV/AIDS families
170 adults and children attend free camp at St. Malo for rest, support
By Jack Bacon
A three-day Labor Day weekend in the mountains means getting away from daily routine and catching our breath before tackling even more intense demands of work and school that multiply as summer ends.
That was certainly the case for the 170 adults and children who spent last Labor Day at Camp Ray-Ray. But for them the getaway was more important as a respite from the long shadow of incurable disease and the isolation the affliction imposes because of fear and ignorance.
"It's the best thing a person can have ... so you can relax and be yourself," Margaret Martinez said.
The Denver grandmother was talking about Camp Ray-Ray and Angels Unaware, a loosely organized but intensely active support group for victims of HIV/AIDS and their families that sponsors the camp as one of a continuing series of special activities. The Archdiocese of Denver HIV/AIDS Ministry co-sponsors the event.
Camp Ray-Ray takes its name from the nickname of Raymond Pena, who died of AIDS at age 4, and is scheduled annually at the Archdiocese of Denver's St. Malo Retreat and Conference Center north of Allenspark. Ray-Ray was a special child, Barb Johnson of Loveland said. She was his foster mother.
"He loved it here," she said, recalling that she took him to Camp St. Malo often. "Once he said, `We ought to bring other kids here.'"
After he died in 1994, she and friends in Angels Unaware set out to make his wish real. The first camp was conducted on a snowy and rainy Memorial Day weekend in 1995. The weather prompted changing the date to a warmer, drier month.
Margaret Martinez lost a daughter to AIDS, and turned to Angels Unaware "when I first needed support." For her, and for others at the camp, the organization became an extension of her family. As she hugged a shy granddaughter, she talked of the need to dispel the fear of the unknown the disease spawns.
"I give talks," she said. "It's for my grandchildren. If somebody's not out there doing the work ..." her voiced trailed off. "I'm looking at the future."
Martinez is among those with an HIV/AIDS association willing to be identified publicly. For others, concern about public reaction makes that a tough choice.
Another Ray-Ray camper, a nurse who adopted a baby girl diagnosed HIV positive at 3 weeks of age, reluctantly changed her mind and decided not to be identified for publication because that baby now is at an age when the information might affect her negatively. The nurse knows well what that might mean.
Although she had two older children, ages 21 and 16, she adopted the baby, who had been abandoned and wound up at the hospital, because she couldn't stop wondering, "What's going to happen to her?"
As time passed, she found it difficult to find day care for the child when her HIV condition was disclosed.
"They said, `My other parents wouldn't allow it,' or `There's no room,' or `The opening's filled' even though they had told me there was room," she said. "Sometimes they'd say there were `behavior issues.'"
Family members at the camp agreed unanimously Angels Unaware provides an almost unique environment for them, free of the defensiveness that follows from others' fear of the condition and those who have it. They also agreed the stigma that comes with HIV/AIDS continues despite the supposedly much-increased knowledge about it and its transmission.
On the up side, however, has been significant improvement in the quality and effectiveness of medication. The price, however, remains high — prohibitively high for most if they can't get financial assistance.
Jackie Bottomley and husband Grant recently moved to a small town in Missouri. They returned to Colorado for Camp Ray-Ray with their three children, Anthony, 15, and Austin Hernandez, 13, and Krishelle Bottomley, 6. Anthony and Austin are Jackie's children by her first husband, who died of AIDS. She didn't learn that she was HIV positive until she had been remarried for four years — two years before Krishelle was born, with no trace of the condition.
The diagnosis had a profound effect on the family, she acknowledged, but their support, bolstered by Angels Unaware, has been invaluable.
"The boys are a little more mature than other kids," she said. "They understand a little bit more. We're very close. They know if I'm not feeling well I need to rest."
They're not sure how their life in a small town will be affected if her condition becomes widely known.
Don and Pam Lindenthal of Greeley talked about the difficulty of adopting HIV positive children of a parent with AIDS. It took four years for them to adopt their child. Agencies often "just don't think it's worth the paperwork," she said. The couple has five children, ages 7-18, "all doing well," she said. Pam works with the AIDS Alliance for Church, Youth and Families, a national Washington-based organization that teaches victims and their families to be their own advocates for the assistance they need.
Barb Johnson, Ray-Ray's foster mother, and Kristen Klaasen, friends from graduate school, were instrumental in getting the camp started and both are heavily involved in Angels Unaware, which meets monthly and vigorously seeks out opportunities for recreation and other activity — next up is a bowling outing Oct. 27. Klaasen, who trains University of Colorado, Denver, graduate students about dealing with childhood trauma, now is Angels Unaware director.
The emphasis is on families, and a majority of the Ray-Ray campers are members of families of the disease's victims. The diagnosis, Klaasen said, affects everyone in the family and those at the camp frequently referred to themselves and others as members of "one big family."
Johnson was a member of the staff of Developmental Pathways in Aurora when she encountered Raymond Pena, whose mother and grandmother had died of AIDS. Their meeting started a permanent mother-son relationship. Klaasen, who recalled, "I thought she was crazy," became the boy's regular and frequent baby sitter.
Their interest in Angels Unaware and getting the camp started attracted members of the St. Vincent de Paul Parish singles group in Denver and Father Sean McGrath, now pastor of Guardian Angels Parish in Denver. One who got and stayed involved is Michelle Bills, a television producer who was among the some 35 volunteers who turned out to help with this year's camp. The project has grown steadily since it started, and has expanded since the first one-day program.
Camp Ray-Ray cost approximately $25,000 this year, for food, equipment and renting Camp St. Malo. The program is free to the families. Help comes from a range of sources, among them Father Bob Fisher, pastor of Our Lady of Lourdes Parish in Denver; Rev. Mark Van House of La Salle; the Lutheran Brotherhood; and St. Vincent de Paul and Spirit of Christ parishes.
Theme of the camp was "Heroes Happen," featuring a Saturday night super-heroes costume party. It was also a memorial for 16 who have died.
Barb Johnson married after Ray-Ray died and has two sons, 6 and 2. She works as an early childhood specialist. Johnson's older son said, "I didn't know Ray-Ray, but I'll meet him in heaven."
Angels Unaware can be contacted at 303-420-6370, by e-mail at kristenlkk@msn.com or angelsunaware@att.net; Web site: www.angellesunaware.net.
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