Archbishop's web site Denver Catholic Register Parishes Catholic Pastoral Center
July 31, 2002
Prayer must be planned part of family life
Family prayer helps make spirituality center of family life
By Stephen Kent
Suzanne Wolfe describes it as the "incarnation of family." Her husband, Gregory, refers to it as a "conversation." "It" is family prayer, and at a time when the family risks becoming little more than a social and economic structure, a shyness about making prayer and spirituality the center of family life remains, according to the Wolfes.
They address the issue in "Circle of Grace," their book for praying with and for children.
The Wolfes are academics and parents. He is writer in residence at Seattle Pacific University, where she teaches English literature. In addition, Gregory is publisher and editor of "Image: A Journal of the Arts and Religion." They have four children and are parishioners at St. James Cathedral in Seattle.
"Circle of Grace" (Ballantine Books, $25) explores the need for family prayer and provides a how-to guide with prayers for seasons of the year and different events in life.
Its focus on the centrality of family prayer is derived from the Wolfes' personal experiences. They both come from divorced families.
"We have a hunger for family unity," Gregory told the Catholic Northwest Progress, newspaper of the Seattle Archdiocese. "We have been very intentional about this."
Family prayer is a time and place for each member to be open and vulnerable, according to the Wolfes. Its what Gregory termed "a democratic dimension of prayer"; in the context of the family, children can learn their parents are human.
But parents must do more than give their children prayers to say, the Wolfes write. They should learn to pray themselves by praying with their children.
"If someone is thinking about prayer for their children, they are probably thinking about prayer for themselves as well," Gregory said. "We are saying, `This may be the moment for you to enter a mature spiritual life through your children, to settle down and go beyond yourself.'"
The Wolfe children also have what is known in the family as "quick prayer," where they say what they are grateful for, as well as for what they are "grateful not to be," Suzanne Wolfe said.
Yet, Gregory is quick to point out that "these are normal kids leading normal lives. We are not ponderous or pompous."
The key to family prayer? As with any other family activity, according to Gregory, it must be planned.
"Time is a misplaced excuse," he said. "We come together for evening prayer at 9 p.m. We have a variety of forms of expression so as not to do it by rote."
In "Circle of Grace," the Wolfes note an increasing concern for the moral education of youths. "A child should not simply admire goodness," they write, but "fall in love with goodness." Parents must help their children bridge the gap between knowing what is good and doing what is good," they say.
"This book is pitched at the unchurched," said Gregory. "It is meant to be inviting, open, something we can enter into."
Or, as Suzanne put it, "praying without being holy."
Editor's note: To learn more about prayer and spirituality in family life, the Wolfes have a Web site, www.circleofgrace.com.
Contact Us
