Archbishop's web site Denver Catholic Register Parishes Catholic Pastoral Center
January 30, 2002
A conversation about home-schooling
Home-schooled children can get too much socialization, parents say
By Cheryl Doyle-Ruffing
I talk on the phone about once month with my old college roommate Erin, who lives in Massachusetts. Our lives have obviously changed a lot since college — instead of staying up past midnight talking about guys, we recently stayed up talking about home-schooling.
Erin and I have chatted about the subject before — she's expressed her incredulity at my doing it and has asserted that she never will. So I was a bit surprised by her curiosity two weeks ago. I was also surprised that her first question was not about socialization (although it did come up later). Foremost, she wanted to know how I can teach my 5-year-old while caring for my 3- and 1-year-olds.
It's a good question. The situation does present difficulties, but the best advice I've given myself is to relax and deal with each day situation by situation. My worst days are those in which I try to stick to a schedule NO MATTER WHAT! Instead of using the schedule as a guide, I let it pull me and my children (kicking and screaming) down a road of frustration.
Here is an example of a good day: I awake at 7:30 and shower. The kids and I eat breakfast by 8:30, then Bridget and Henry watch "Teletubbies" while Luke and I work on his math lesson. By the time we finish with math, "Sesame Street" is on and has caught Luke's attention; Henry's cranky and needs a nap. While I nurse Henry to sleep, Luke enjoys 15 minutes of Elmo and Big Bird. Luke is then ready for his reading lesson. Near the end of reading, Bridget wants my attention, so I let Luke play a computer game while Bridget and I work on her preschool lesson.
The day continues on in this manner. We eventually accomplish everything in my plan book and everyone is generally happy.
Erin's second question concerned the future: "Do you feel qualified to teach your children high school subjects?" I do. Algebra, chemistry and world history don't intimidate me, and I look forward to relearning these subjects as I teach them to my children. With the subjects that really vex me (physics), I will enlist the help of my husband.
Other home educators deal with these issues in different ways. Some use a packaged curriculum in which they guide their children through textbooks, worksheets and tests that are evaluated and graded by advisors employed through the curriculum supplier.
Other parents enroll their children in select courses at public or private high schools and community colleges. Still others hire tutors.
Question three: "Do colleges accept home educated students?" Yes, according to Kimberly Hahn and Mary Hasson, authors of "Catholic Education: Homeward Bound" (Ignatius Press), which reads: "While the number of applications that universities receive from home-educated students is still small, more and more schools are not just receptive to their admission, they actively recruit them. Home-schooled students have been admitted to most of the Ivy League schools, as well as to many Catholic universities and colleges. ..."
Finally, my conversation with Erin came back to THE QUESTION: "What about socialization?"
"I'm not worried about it," I replied and pointed out that not all of the socialization that takes place in institutional schools is positive. When a child spends so much time in the company of his peers, the opinions, attitudes and values of those peers can easily become more attractive than the opinions, attitudes and values of the child's parents.
As for my children's social skills, so far so good. They relate well to, and are comfortable with, people of all ages, a situation not necessarily fostered in schools. Many people assume that sending a child to school is the "natural" thing to do, but how natural is it to spend six hours a day with 25 other people who all happen to be the same age?
In The Home-schooling Almanac 2000-2001 (Prima Publishing), Mary and Michael Leppert point out: "Parents need to consider that in the average school day of six hours, the child spends approximately one hour `socializing,' two 15-minute recesses and one hour at lunch. The rest of the time the child usually sits at his desk, separated from the other children by the invisible wall of `good behavior.'
"Homeschooling parents, on the other hand, often find their children have too much socialization (with) weekly park days, skate days and field trips. Besides planned events, children who live in urban or suburban areas come in contact with people all day long."
By 1 a.m., Erin and I had decided that it was time for bed. She still doesn't plan to home-school her children, but perhaps she's more open to the possibility.
Doyle-Ruffing is a freelance writer who lives in Littleton.
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