Archbishop's web site Denver Catholic Register Parishes Catholic Pastoral Center
October 24, 2001
Wedding rehearsals are more than practice, planners say
Marriage liturgies are sacramental celebrations, not `shows'
By Carol Zimmermann
The saying ``practice makes perfect'' doesn't necessarily apply to wedding rehearsals, according to some parish wedding coordinators.
That's because the rehearsals themselves are not meant to ensure that the wedding ceremony goes off without a hitch, but instead to help the bride and groom focus on the heart of the day itself — the sacrament of marriage.
Mary Tull, wedding coordinator at Blessed Sacrament Parish in Chevy Chase, Md., since 1993, said she tells couples that their wedding ``may not be perfect, but no one will know but you.
``I try to get them to focus on the celebration, reminding them they are the sacrament, making a covenant with God and each other,'' she said.
``The wedding is not a show,'' Tull said she indirectly reminds couples, adding that she hopes they realize that real work in a marriage is not in the planning and preparation for the ceremony and reception but begins ``the next day or the day after they come back from their honeymoon.''
The rehearsal, she said, is also important for the practical reasons of getting the wedding party comfortable with the Church and to hopefully reduce some tension.
Deacon Richard Mattocks from St. Raphael Parish in Rockville, Md., considers the rehearsal significant for other family members and those in the wedding party.
``Often you have people come who have distanced themselves from the Church,'' he said, acknowledging that the rehearsal provides an opportunity for ``catechesis and welcoming focus.''
He said he begins the rehearsal with a prayer in front of the altar.
``It sets the tone for what will be a holy event,'' he added.
Deacon Mattocks, who heads the parish's marriage and family ministry, said he stresses with couples the importance of understanding the family as the domestic church and talks about why the Church is involved in weddings.
``Parish Weddings,'' by Father Austin Fleming (Liturgy Training Publications, 1987), notes that a wedding rehearsal is helpful because it enables the wedding party to become familiar with the Church and ``the public roles they will assume as part of the liturgy.''
The rehearsal itself, the book points out, ``is not time for discussion and decision-making,'' because the selection of prayers, songs and readings should already have been settled.
Tull, who said she spends all but two weekends from Easter to Labor Day helping with weddings, talks the couple through everything that will occur on the big day, when her parish may have up to three consecutive weddings.
She also is quick to remind them that, despite all the details they have taken in, they could forget everything and the wedding will still run smoothly.
``We'll get you down there,'' she said tells them. ``Don't worry about the details. Think about what you're doing.''
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