Archbishop's web site Denver Catholic Register Parishes Catholic Pastoral Center
April 11, 2001
Conversion occurs through `the cross'
Memories of offenses aid Christian forgiveness `granted by love'
By Father Jorge Rodriguez
A poor memory is sometimes the target of jokes. To forget the name of the person while shaking their hand and saying, "Hey, what a pleasure! It has been a long time ..." can be embarrassing. But a poor memory, when linked with forgiveness, can be a great ally.
Yahweh has a very poor memory. His indignation does not last forever; his resentment exists a short time only (Cf. Psalm 103; 50). Christ told us about this poor memory in the story of the father who, forgetting his son's scorn and abandonment, joyfully welcomes him, not mentioning what occurred: "While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was moved with pity. He ran to the boy, clasped him in his arms and kissed him tenderly" (Luke 15:20).
This father had a very poor memory. Christ's poor memory allows him to entrust his flock to Peter. "Feed my lambs," he says (John 21:15-17). He had already forgotten Peter's denials and abandonment a few days before.
In his Lenten Message for 2001, John Paul II invites every man and woman to live this Lenten season as a time to convert to God. This conversion must pass through the cross of forgiveness. To accept and to offer forgiveness is the path to reconciliation and soul healing, necessary for a genuine return to God.
When we remember that Jesus said on the cross, "Father, forgive them; they do not know what they are doing," we feel the desire to forgive, imitating our Master in this way, and we sincerely try to do it. We forgive the offenses we have received; however, though we forgive those who have offended us, sometimes our memory keeps a distinct picture of the offense on our mind. The offense remains there like an unhealed wound and occasionally comes to the surface. How much we would like to completely forget such an offense and never again to think about it! Unfortunately, it keeps festering and hurting. In this case, a poor memory could serve us in our efforts to forgive. Ah, if I could forget it!
Nevertheless, we can ask whether it is precisely the contrary, that is, that a good memory of the offense helps us to forgive in a more Christian way.
To forgive on account of forgetfulness and to forget on account of forgiveness are two very different things. Sometimes we forgive because we have already forgotten. On other occasions, we forget because we have already forgiven in our heart. In this second case, often we keep the memory of the offense; but the forgiveness granted by love in the imitation of Christ causes this memory to lose its poison and become salvific, "co-operating in this way in the brotherly redemption," as the pope says in his Lenten message.
When Christ asked Peter three times, "Do you love me more than these others do?" very likely He remembered perfectly each one of Peter's three negations. The Lord has a good memory. Therefore, when he entrusted to him the most precious thing he had by saying, "Feed my lambs," he did it sincerely. He had forgiven Peter in his heart.
The "poor memory" which forgives because of forgetfulness and the "good memory" which forgets because of forgiveness open to us the path to reconciliation. The first one gives us the peace of forgiveness; the second one gives us the peace of Christian forgiveness. To remember the wound of the offense with Christian charity, even though it still hurts, opens possibilities for the kind of forgiveness that is not reduced to an isolated act, but becomes a constant and living attitude of our heart in imitation of the Crucified Christ, who forgives as a consequence of an unquenchable love.
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