Archbishop's web site Denver Catholic Register Parishes Catholic Pastoral Center
February 28, 2001
Lent, grace and indifference
Christ has a way of `sneaking up on a person'
By Father Christopher Hellstrom
Pope John Paul II begins his Lenten message, titled "Love is not resentful," by looking at some of the areas of human experience that keep us from following Christ through his cross to his resurrection. One of those areas is indifference.
We can get very worked up and warm about a lot of things: What opportunities do I have to make a lot of money? What TV show or movie must I see next? How great would a vacation be right about now? What political issue is most important and why? Who has made me feel happy and loved lately, especially romantically? There is a myriad of such questions about which many are willing to spend significant energy.
Other questions can stymie us, we fall a little flat, and our initial reaction can seem indifferent. When was the last time I turned the other cheek? How often do I give without expecting repayment? When was the last time I found joy in fasting, or in chastity? What part of a bad situation is actually my responsibility? How free am I of resentment? How much do I see my need for the Sacrament of Reconciliation?
We can feel some of the provocative nature of these questions and yet seek to dull them because they take more work and have fewer immediate results than the first set of questions. And voila, indifference! But let someone keep provoking us with one of these questions, and feelings of rebellion might easily surface! In fact, we aren't indifferent, but we are using indifference to cover up the anger or pain these types of questions raise ... and there is the beginning of our salvation.
I love saints like St. Ambrose, or a modern candidate like Dorothy Day. They caught wind of things Catholic, having to do with really living the Gospel, and they ran the other way as hard as they could, even literally. There is a great scene in the movie "Entertaining Angels" which is on the life of Dorothy Day. She was a feisty, socially active reporter with a fighting spirit for the rights of women and the poor. And she was quite sexually active, even procuring an abortion early in her life. Encountering a nun associated with a small country mission, she runs as hard as she can from any close encounter, but wears down a little each time. Eventually, she finds herself in a little country church, closing her eyes to pray for the first time in her life. She feels totally silly, and in attempting to leave, actually walks up to the altar and tabernacle, pauses for some time, and then says to Jesus, "You really have a way of sneaking up on a person." She is instructed in the faith, baptized, and finds her call to work for the rest of her life for the homeless of New York City.
Day had begun her adult life in a climate that saw nothing of value in Christ or in the Gospel. Yet underneath that was a great anger and fear, which could come out in her encounters with the nun and the Church. And underneath all that was the great call that God had given to her.
Indifference to the serious ongoing call to conversion during Lent can easily be felt. But if we examine our indifference, we may find rebellion, anger, pain and resentment underneath. Discovering these feelings are a good sign that we are digging our way toward the treasure they hide. For at the end of out toil is the grace, already present, of living with Christ more deeply, for he said, "I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full."
